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Do you tell people that you have dyscalculia?





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Does anyone ever get angry?
dandy22
#1 Print Post
Posted on May 08 2012 09:44 PM
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I'll start out by saying this, I'm not good at handling my feelings. And living with dyscalculia is really frustrating.Its hard to study your butt off and know the best you will ever do is a C. It's hard being given a map and not know what to do with it. Its hard to give people or listen to directions when you don't know your left and right.But the hardest thing is knowing that people won't ever understand why you are the way you are. Like i said, I don't handle my feelings well, I just bottle everything up then lash out at people (mostly my family) who don't deserve it (but sometimes they do). Sometimes I get physical, my brother once called me stupid and I punched him in the face and broke his glasses. Another girl at school picked on me for being in a below average math class, so I started a nasty rumor about her and she transferred schools. I kick, I scream, I break things. I don't like having to get physical with people but, they just don't understand, I have no other choice.
Does dyscalculia ever make anyone angry to the point of physical violence?
Equations are the devil's sentences. -Stephen Colbert
 
justfoundout
#2 Print Post
Posted on May 09 2012 12:35 AM
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Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

Joined: 2008-05-25

5/8/12
Hi dandy 22,
I wrote some really good essays this semester. There were three or four of them,... big assignments. I worked hard at it, and I usually would have gotten an A or a B on a paper like that. My teacher is a new teacher and graded my papers low,... mostly C's. This morning I called her superior to complain about her grading. He said that I would have to file a complaint and go through the bureaucratic procedure. He said that I should be prepared to do a lot of writing if I do this. It feels overwhelming. But this is what I may have to do to keep from having to repeat the class. (If my grade drops to a D with the Final test, I'll have to repeat the class.) Filing a complaint is the most 'assertive' that I would ever get. I studied Paralegal courses and finished the degree, not entirely because I thought that I'd be a good paralegal, but rather because I thought it might help me defend myself better. It has helped a little.

One thing that might help you is to analyze the process that occurs before you show anger. I don't remember now where I read this, but here's the process,... First comes 'hurt', and next comes 'anger'. But the anger follows so closely behind the hurt that you have to think back to what was said, and how you felt, and then the next thing that you felt in order to analyze the process. In other words, you have to slow it down,... to think about it in 'slow motion',... in order to understand yourself better. After going back over a few scenarios of times that you've gotten angry, you'll start to see that this has been the order of events every time. Once you see that what the other person said or did 'hurt' you, you start to have more power over your emotions. When the anger kicks in, your brain isn't able to think well, and you can't make the best decisions. The more that you learn to 'hold off' those strong emotions, the better you'll become at controling the situation,... and sometimes getting to say something insightful that leaves the other person speechless. - jus'
Edited by justfoundout on May 09 2012 12:36 AM
 
heathermomster
#3 Print Post
Posted on May 09 2012 01:21 AM
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I ask DS. He tells me that he thinks he threw a pencil once.

My father was physically and verbally abusive to my mother, siblings, and me. I witnessed him drop kick a dog, hit my mother, and step-mother. He's extremely cruel, and I quit speaking to him 13 years ago. All of his actions are justified in his mind. He has never seen my beautiful children. My parents divorced when I was 9.5 years old. My father is the one where all my son's LDs come from. I have 3 cousins who have spent several years in prison.

I work extremely hard to show my son loving kindness and provide every educational opportunity. Outside of the usual military service, DH nor I condone physical violence of any kind.

Your posting makes me incredibly sad, and I hope that you will seek help to manage your issues. Trust me when I say, uncontrolled anger will cause you more grief than dyscalculia ever will.
Edited by heathermomster on May 09 2012 01:38 AM
 
CheshireKat
#4 Print Post
Posted on May 09 2012 02:48 AM
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Location: United States
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Dandy, I think you may want to consider seeking some kind of counseling for your self-admitted inappropriate anger. You've admitted that you lash out verbally at your family who don't deserve it, and that you've even gotten so physically abusive towards your brother that you broke his glasses by punching him in the face. You spread rumors about a girl that were so vicious that she left her school. That is particularly sad considering that you know how it feels to be picked on, because of dyscalculia, and yet you did the same thing to that girl.

You said, "I don't like having to get physical with people but, they just don't understand, I have no other choice." Do you REALLY think you don't have a choice but to get physically violent with people? Do you really believe that, that you have no choice? Or do you think that you have a choice, but you are making the wrong one because you don't know how to regulate your emotions?

If I told you that I had "no choice" but to hit people because I was angry about my own learning disability, would you think that I was being appropriate or would you tell me that I needed to seek help in regulating my feelings? What you are doing is not taking responsibility for your behavior, and that's not okay.

If you get into a habit of hitting people and not taking responsibility for your own behavior, you will end up burning bridges permanently between you and your loved ones. But more to the point, you will end up in jail if you keep physically assaulting people because of your own anger. You need to take responsibility for your feelings, and learn how to regulate them and channel them into more positive things.

Dyscalculia isn't your fault, but your behavior and your responses to it are. You know this behavior isn't okay. Please find a way to talk to a counselor, either through your school or in the community. You need to get a hold of your anger.
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer
 
Gnarkill
#5 Print Post
Posted on May 15 2012 07:47 AM
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Location: San Diego
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Dandy,

I recently broke up with my girlfriend last week of 6 years. The relationship was long overdue. But when I finally told her what I think my issue with mathematics was she made the comment " So what are you trying to tell me, your'e not all there in the head? You should just get on disability from the state". That was one of the most hurtful things, that anybody has ever told me about my dyscalculia bare none...

She didn't want to accept the fact, that my problem was ' official. I came to terms with it long ago.. It's absolutely disgusting that some people can't tolerate it nor understand it, and you do get this complex of being ' misunderstood' or fearful of what other people think. Especially since she was in all honors throughout high school or AP classes, I guess she wanted to be with somebody " normal".

But I'm not going to let that disrupt me from accomplishing my goals wana know why? While I may not be the best at mathematics and I know that I'm way below academically in math compared to other people my age. Tonight, I couldn't figure out to finish a math problem and I literally felt like throwing the book across the room.

If you get knocked off the horse, you gotta saddle back up and ride on. Measure your progress to your own standards, once you see yourself coming to terms and understanding how to deal with dyscalculia you'll gain humility in your soul.

Believe me I'm pissed off at the world too! But don't resort to anger man, It's not worth ending up in the back of a police car for it.

I think this quote sums up pretty well

" Just keep your eye on the target.
Real success is proven by who you are inside,
Your heart is the only true measure of how great you can be.
You'll get no medal for humility, yet it is the greatest prize of all
and the mark of a true winner.
Real success is proven by who you are inside,
Your heart is the only true measure of how great you can be.
You'll get no medal for humility, yet it is the greatest prize of all
and the mark of a true winner. "

Jackie Chain-Thunderbolt
Edited by Gnarkill on May 15 2012 08:12 AM
 
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