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Do you tell people that you have dyscalculia?





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Dealing with people who think you're stupid
JB
#1 Print Post
Posted on February 29 2012 08:43 PM
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Location: No value
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Joined: 2012-02-22

Hi,

I recently started a new job and there are a couple of girls in my team who have noticed that I really struggle with navigation/memory. I get lost in the building even when I'm just on the other side of the same floor. Also my name/face retrieval is pretty awful.

They highlight it all the time (in front of my manager and other colleagues) and make me feel really stupid. At first i tried to laugh it off but it's clear this isn't working. I just wondered if anyone has any strategies for dealing with these sorts of people?

Alternatively do you have any tips that would help me with not getting lost and remembering faces and names.

Thanks
 
justfoundout
#2 Print Post
Posted on February 29 2012 11:25 PM
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Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

Joined: 2008-05-25

2/29/12
I have the same problem. I went to a job interview for a temp agency last year. In the parking lot, another car almost backed into my parked car, with me standing right there watching. He pretended nothing had happened as he drove away. I told this story to a nice young woman in the elevator. Then I walked into a crowded waiting room at the temp agency. The receptionist put me on a computer to do the preliminary testing,... typing tests, etc., before asking me to sit and wait again in the lobby for my intake interview.

About an hour after arriving, I was finally escorted to the interview room where I met the 'headhunter'. She was friendly. As I sat down, I told her what had happened in the parking lot when I'd first arrived. She nodded and said, "Yes, we talked about that in the elevator."

To answer your question, 'no', I'm sorry but I don't have a bit of advice for you. :( - jus'
 
HappyFoxy
#3 Print Post
Posted on April 22 2012 03:27 PM
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Location: East Devon's Jurassic park!
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LOL! Sorry to laugh jus, but I found that really funny. Grin

I'm afraid I'm not much help either, JB, but I do find that using someone's name when I'm talking to them helps me to remember it better. Providing I can remember it correctly in the first place!

There was a bloke I vaguely knew in my town, and whenever I saw him in the street I'd say 'Hiya Tom'. After about two years of this he finally told me that his name isn't Tom and he told me his real name. So I always said 'Hiya Steve', then a year later he told me that his name isn't Steve either! I still don't remember his actual name, lol, but he moved away since so I don't have that problem with him now. Wink There was another that I called Bill for ages until someone else told me his name's Neil. Pfft
 
www.pastremains.co.uk
squeakymonster
#4 Print Post
Posted on April 22 2012 03:46 PM
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Location: Munising, MI, USA
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Joined: 2010-10-09

Some people will always think that being different means "stupid". I have the same issues with learning names wrong. It takes forever to retrain my brain.

I guess that the take-home message is don't let the people who look down on you for being dyscalculic get to you. You're not the only one. We all deal with it to varying extents. At least it makes for some funny stories, if we can remember them! Pfft
I'm NOT lost, I'm just taking the scenic rout!
 
redransom
#5 Print Post
Posted on April 23 2012 07:56 AM
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Location: Texas
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I have had to deal with this in school for a very long time, though on different terms, like the math teacher calling me out just because he knew i struggled with the material. Everyone laughed, and never said a word at the injustice, and would later make fun of me for being 'stupid'. It got to me, I won't lie, and it sticks with me to this day. On that note, I'm not sure what could be done to discourage it. There is always the chance that you could let it slide, and show them that their elementary ways do not bother you. Because, I mean, come on... Making fun of people and sucking up is a little juvenile. Maybe they should grow up! Pfft
i.picasion.com/pic52/1fa7c67cea0db2d2d2b6ac6aad0dc9a8.gif
 
justfoundout
#6 Print Post
Posted on April 23 2012 09:35 PM
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Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

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4/23/12
Hi redransom, my fellow Texan, and welcome. So sorry for that long term bad experience that you had in school. Something that annoys me that is similar is when I raise my hand to ask a question to the teacher, and just when the teacher starts to answer me, some other 'smart eleck' student will be talking at the same time as the teacher, supposedly answering my question. Worse yet, the teacher will usually just ignore the fact that I couldn't hear him/her due to that other student shouting toward me at the same time. When (on at least two occassions) I've asked the other student not to do this, the only result is more backlash from the student,... which makes me think that he/she knew good and well what he/she was doing in the first place.

I haven't read your other posts yet. Have you been tested? And did you get accommodations in school? One more thing. Please forgive me for this. The 'moving' slogan in red at the foot of your post distracts me a lot. Could I ask you to make it 'stand still'? Again, welcome. - jus'
 
CheshireKat
#7 Print Post
Posted on April 23 2012 11:52 PM
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Hey JB, I'm Kat, welcome to the forum!

My way of dealing with people like that has always been to be as blunt and straightforward as possible. I understand that a lot of people are not as comfortable with that as I am, and it's not always appropriate in all situations, so utilize my methods at your own discretion, lol.

But if I was you, the next time my coworkers made fun of my poor sense of direction I would look straight at them and say, "Yes, I do remember you saying that yesterday. And the day before. And last week. Is your short-term memory as bad as my sense of direction or do you just not have other things to talk about?" I think that makes the point inescapably clear. Then feel free to change the conversation to the topic of your choice, and they probably won't bring it up again. Just a thought.

As far as how to improve, something I always try to do is remember landmarks wherever I happen to be. I'm very oriented towards landmarks as a way to remember where I'm supposed to stop, turn, etc. When I get directions from people I try to get both street numbers AND landmarks, that way I can see the landmark first and then hone in on the street number second.

It may sound silly, but try thinking in terms of, "Turn past the water cooler" or "So-and-so's office is the one next to that hanging picture of Yosemite Park." That might prove more helpful for you than remembering room numbers. I know almost none of the room numbers in my 2-story office building, and there are a LOT of rooms there. When people ask me what room something is in, I end up giving directions something like this...

"It's in the room where you go through the double doors and there's a door across from that big stack of chairs with a plant by it..."
"Okay, but what room number?"
"I don't know, look for the chairs and the plant, you can't miss it. If you get to the elevator you went too far."
"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." - Eric Hoffer
 
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