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Do you tell people that you have dyscalculia?





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Psychological impact?
evie dee
#41 Print Post
Posted on December 03 2007 09:57 PM
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Laura wrote:
Yes Eviee Dee i think being told that you are a complete idiot sticks forever. I have been told by my brother and twin sister that i am stupid and that i will never be able to do anything. What hurts the most is that it comes from my sister. You know how siblings will be and she is quite vendicative with her words when she wants to be. I am sick to the back teeth of being thick. Kids at school some so called friends and my loving family all thought they were clever. So what i still havent achieved anything in Maths and thats with going back to college. I do get frustrated at myself as WHY can't i do Maths. I at the moment have just got a new job where no Maths is required unlike my old job. Thank god i dont need to know my times tables any more that was a killer Smile The amount of times i have cried over Maths then i realise its not worth it. Sure it would be great to get it but right now its not my time and my time will come sometime in life. It could be in 5 years time or even 50 years time. But as long as i DO eventually get it i will be happy Smile

When you do get diagnosed, you just wnat to scream "See? I'm not an idiot after all"!
 
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Fox McCloud
#42 Print Post
Posted on December 06 2007 11:52 PM
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Oh god I know what its like...my friend never believed me when I said I was sure I had something "wrong" with me...
He just said "Theres no such thing as dyslexia, dyscalculia and all that random stuff...its just people with bad education and in your case, you, you just can't count past 24..."
And I felt like I'd been slapped across the face...it just hit me that even one of my best friends refused to believe in dyscalculia. And it really left me sad and depressed for weeks wondering why I couldn't count properly and had trouble visualising things...

It gets to me sometimes that I always, ever since the age of 4 I was told, that I wanted to be a pilot, but as I got older, the type of maths involved got more obvious, and everything that you need to do in piloting that requires maths, is something I either can't do or fall flat on my face with when trying to do it at the speed that my friends do...

And what gets at me the most, it really does make me feel sad to mention it, but my mum's not very supportive towards me trying to find a saturday job, so I look round and Im offered a job as a clerk/store cash till guy, and I took it as I knew the guy who offered me it, but I quit in the end, and I must have ended up losing the guy £50 in the 3 weeks that I was there...I'd get really upset with people coming back and saying "Hey, you overcharged me!" and I just didn't know what to say...also fear of the way that people were exploiting me came in, leading me to quit along with other reasons.
 
Laura
#43 Print Post
Posted on December 07 2007 08:52 AM
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Hey Fox totally agree with you. no-one in my family understands my problems with Maths. Both my brother and sister are whizz kids at Maths then there's little old me who has trouble learning the times tables/giving change back/figuring out what the hell length, weight and capacity is. Been there alright. Even my mates were not sympathetic, I met an old friend on the bus the other month and she is in her 3rd year at University. She said she is struggling with her Chemisrty and Physics classes as she is useless at Maths. This comes from the girl who when we were 16 years old got 8 straight 1's in her Standard Grade exams(GCSE's) The highest grades you can get. The only person to get the maximum grades in the whole of our year at school, granted there were 130 kids in my year. She is the person who was always in the top English/Maths/Physics/Chemistry classes. OMG she doesn't know what it's like to fail at Maths Smile There is only one friend from school who was dead sympathetic and thats a girl who like my above friend was an excellent academic. But she had EMPATHY and still has it to this day Smile

BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT
 
Fox McCloud
#44 Print Post
Posted on December 07 2007 11:03 AM
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Hehe yeah, I was actually in the top group for science in my last year at secondary school, I got moved to the bottom class because this assessment was almost entirely equation and formula based, so I got like...4 marks out of 30 or something and I ended up with a C grade.

I've sent my coursework in for my maths resit I did a few weeks ago, Im really happy about that because I think if Im lucky I might get a B grade at GCSE and it'll open up allot more options for what courses I wanna do at college next year. I wanted to do chemistry but they wanted a C in maths, I had a D...but it looks like its gonna be a nice grade when I get it the teacher told me Grin


Oh and I was just wondering, is it dyscalculia or is it just me? I was told all the time in school that I never asked for help and was unaware of the fact that some of my work was wrong, and it used to panic teachers allot sometimes because I'd end up doing something completely different to what was said hehePfft But yeah, I keep getting nagged by teachers to ask if Im stuck, but thats the problem, I don't notice that I am stuck hehe. Pfft
 
Laura
#45 Print Post
Posted on December 07 2007 02:26 PM
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Yip never asked for help EH HELLO I WAS DROWNING AND THERE WERE NEVER ANYONE THERE TO SAVE ME Pfft Good luck with your Maths grade, i always wante to be a Lab Technician dealing with chemaicals etc but i cant as i do not have the Maths grade however i have all the knowledge Sad Never mind my day will come Smile
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT
 
Toe_Nail
#46 Print Post
Posted on December 07 2007 04:39 PM
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Fox McCloud wrote:
...I was told all the time in school that I never asked for help and was unaware of the fact that some of my work was wrong...


That's a fallacious argument you know... How could you ask for help if you were unaware of the fact that your work was wrong?

That's just a clever way to pass the blame onto you instead of the teacher taking responsibility and admitting that he/she didn't do all of what he/she could to help you.
Edited by Toe_Nail on December 07 2007 04:43 PM
It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer -- Albert Einstein
 
Capt Quahog
#47 Print Post
Posted on February 14 2008 03:41 AM
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Hello:

Went down to a store today in search of a replacement door hinge for a kitchen cabinet. Brought along a sample hinge and looked through the bins to compare hardware. At once, I got all confused! Have a hard time with certain objects and the way that things fit together or are suppose to function. Can not comprehend some of these gadgets no matter how simple it may be for other people. Right and left dedicated action functioning together with an abstract ingredient and it's a mind-twisting headache. Gave up and walked away in frustration! Just can't deal with some of these simple tasks. Actually sat down on a bench in the store feeling somewhat melancholy. For some reason, it brought back memories and was thinking about the course that life has taken due to this situation.

Trying to comprehend a map or received driving directions is a waste of time. Wife thinks that I'm nuts as I always carry a military compass when out and about. Helps to be able to check on what direction things are located or where I'm headed. Have no sense of direction at all and the compass makes me feel better too.

Gave up on trying to add numbers by hand when in grammar school during the dark days of the 1950s. Since I could not add columns of numbers and the answers came out totally wrong, it was figured to be a disciplinary problem. Couldn’t help it as numbers on the pages changed when I blinked my eyes. Numbers written as the answers even came out different. Maybe they didn’t actually change but only transposed in my mind. No matter, the result was all the same. Believed for a time that I might be crazy but only thought myself as sane.

The 1950s were a very tough and lonely time to be a young kid who was different. Fact was, didn’t fit in much so I kept to myself and stayed isolated. Got locked in a supply closet by a teacher a couple or more times as punishment for not being able to do assigned math work. Was forgotten in there once until the janitor unlocked the door an hour or so after school had ended.

By 7th grade, school authorities deemed that I was some form of simpleton. They put me into "special education " rooms with the other social miscreants, apprentice thugs, bonafide morons and basic dummies. Those classes, if they could be called that, were staffed by washed up teachers. These were the outcasts who were mostly drunks, sadists or some variety of other minor government toads. Most were waiting for the pension or were about to be fired. Students in those classes were the throwaway kids and were pushed to quit school at age 16. We’d be denigrated constantly and suggested we look toward careers as dishwashers or bus boys.

By Junior High School, I simply refused to participate in any math class. Would hang out in the classroom, ignore or stare down the teacher, draw pictures and take the flunking “F” grade. So long as a student passed another major such as English with a D or better on the report card, that kid moved on to the next level. At least I didn’t have to be driven crazy by those damn numbers. Hated numbers! A few written articles for the school newspaper got me in solid with the English department. Worked too as a stringer news photographer for a local paper having a “by-line” that made me a minor celebrity at school.

The English teacher was the Editor in Chief of the school paper that was somewhat famous. Was able to coast through to graduation as the Asst. Editor and Chief Photog of a nationally award winning High School newspaper. It certainly was a big improvement over a stale room looking at arithmatic crap and slugging it out with horrible numbers. Did I mention that I hate numbers?

Realized back in the 1970s that my comprehension and learning circumstance was something that might be specifically defined. Coined a term for this affliction then as “Dyslexia with Numbers”. Sometime in the 1990s, I found a British WEB site that listed information and used the term "Dyscalcula" showing it as a distinct condition apart from Dyslexia.

At this point, I really don’t need or desire a designated “professional” to perform an analysis. Have been tested each and every day now for more than a half-century. Always remember that you are not mentally deficient but those who ridicule are truly stupid.
Edited by Capt Quahog on February 14 2008 04:19 AM
 
jacquiw
#48 Print Post
Posted on May 15 2008 04:53 AM
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CYL I empathise with everything you said about how you were treated its a mirror of my own experience. In fact my most humiliating time was in a remedial maths class in High school, were I was under such stress because I couldn't cope, that I wet myself in class,because i was being harrassed by the teacher for being to stupid to do kindergarten maths. I never bothered to even try after that ,I would just have a major brain freeze or panic attack when anything maths or number related comes up. I only ever had one good maths teacher and he was transferred after 6 months. He used to devise number games and puzzles to get me to relax enough to absorb some kind of maths. I would do fine for five minutes and then he would come and check and I had a brain freeze and couldn't remember and he would patiently start all over again. He was the only one who never blamed me or called me stupid, he told me I had memory lapses and because of him I actually passed one maths test in all my years of school by 2 points. I got 52 out of 100 a first and only for me all my life. I wish I knew what happened to him as I would thank him if I could.
I do think that when you are told you are stupid you tend to believe it deep down. This is why I never let anyone call my sons stupid and I became a literacy tutor for many years.I remember how I felt and everyone deserves a chance to do something well. If someone is patient and works out how they learn everyone can learn something.
People tell me i am a good teacher when it comes to craft and such. I am totally self taught , I am good at what I do but I am not perfect. If someone tells me they are to stupid to learn, I tell them when they feel ready, they can come to me and I will show them how to do it. I simplify everything ,but do it in a way where they feel they have accomplished something, this makes them feel good and they want to keep trying. Oh if only everyone could treat both children and adults this way everyone would feel happier about their self image, the world could be a better place.
Edited by jacquiw on May 15 2008 05:06 AM
 
Laura
#49 Print Post
Posted on May 15 2008 10:02 AM
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Hey Capt Quahog wow your story was very interesting, the whole thing about being locked in a closet was unreal. You seem like a very intelligent man. I feel sorry for you for having a school life which sucked. Well until the newspaper that is Smile

Good Luck in everything you do Smile
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT
 
Laura
#50 Print Post
Posted on May 15 2008 10:05 AM
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Hey Jacquiw you are a very intelligent man, teaching kids literacy skills etc. God ye being called stupid a million times a day can become who you are i think anyways. Your teacher sounds like a cool guy. He seems like he genuinly wanted to help you and see you succeed. There should be more teacher's like him Smile
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT
 
Lostinspatial
#51 Print Post
Posted on June 27 2008 12:37 AM
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decided to delete my original post since it's a public board, but suffice it to say, I already have had the experience of someone sort of doubting the existence of math disorder Angry
Edited by Lostinspatial on June 27 2008 08:40 AM
 
Tessy
#52 Print Post
Posted on August 01 2008 01:03 PM
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Times Tables
In second or third grade when they start teaching them I had to be reminded with that huge grid/Excel- like thing the teacher put up, with all the students names down the left and across the top 1's, 2's, 3's ..... and getting a big dot when you passed each, well I never made it past the twos. Had to see that every day, it was humiliating. I was the only one not to get to the 9's.
 
justfoundout
#53 Print Post
Posted on August 01 2008 04:32 PM
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8/01/08
Dear Tessy,
I only learned to count by some of the numbers (in a string). When I count by (for example) 7's, I count on my fingers, and this is how I multiply and divide to this day. Amazingly, my arithmetic is accurate, just slow. It's a good thing that I've never lost a finger while doing some piece of carpentry work. What would I do? ha ha

Tessy, I'm an older female, although my name doesn't reflect this.
justfoundout
Edited by justfoundout on August 01 2008 04:33 PM
 
Igottabeme
#54 Print Post
Posted on August 08 2008 04:20 AM
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Well, after years of therapy, drug abuse, beating myself up from playing those "old tapes" in my head, I have finally decided that I am going to try to be happy and not give a damn what people think, and hopefully I can do this for the rest of my life. I am through trying to live up to others' expectations of me. Why? I am always going to be doing something "wrong", or saying the "wrong" thing...I swear, I am always going to seem to rub someone the wrong way. Actually I think it's THEM, not me. I guess I say that because I can't believe that I have been consistently "off" and "wrong"for 40 years. You know what I mean? After a while, I just can't help but think it's not always ME.

In the end, Igottabeme Wink
Be Glad I'm Not a Twin...
 
Igottabeme
#55 Print Post
Posted on August 08 2008 04:21 AM
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Oh, and the above should be viewed from the standpoint that I know my manners and don't act inappropriately-not knowingly anyway.


Be Glad I'm Not a Twin...
 
justfoundout
#56 Print Post
Posted on August 08 2008 05:44 PM
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8/8/08
Dear Igottabeme,
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. You've probably been around someone (or plural, "someones"?) who consider themselves the "Emily Post" of all things politically correct. It's amazing that our IQ's don't save us from them. I think that 'time and distance' away from the source of irritation brings about the fastest and most effective healing. Nobody else ever listens to them like we did, and they miss that terribly! Have I said too much?
justfoundout
 
thespazzgirl
#57 Print Post
Posted on September 20 2008 01:52 AM
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Unfortunately I have a psychological damage story that still bothers me to this day. A few years ago, during math class the teacher called me to the board and had a problem out for me. She told me to solve it and I froze. I had no idea how to do it and I felt my face go beet-red. What's worse, kids started snickering at me. I felt just horrible and I didn't want to stand up there any longer than I had to so I just guessed and prayed it was close to the right answer. The kids burst out into laughter and my teacher just shook her head. It was wrong and I tried so hard not to cry as I stood there while she explained to me how I messed up. For the rest of the year whenver a math teacher would call me up to the board or ask me to solve a problem, some smart-mouth would say I didn't know how to do math. This always cracked people up.

The effects of this event have caused me to become quiet and a bit introverted because I've been afraid of saying the wrong answer in any subject because I'm afraid that people will laugh at me. It's terrible and I wish I could turn back time and somehow stop the teacher from calling on me.
 
Dulcy
#58 Print Post
Posted on September 20 2008 02:10 AM
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Kehawin, I count using playing card layouts in my head, too! Cool! I use layouts of the five card in my head. I can manage four "cards" if I'm adding, and two if I'm multiplying small numbers.

Anything more than that, I need a calculator.

My desks in school were always covered with these faint, little dots.Grin

More problems from the disorder or from the attitudes of others? Oh, definately the attitudes of others. I don't consider the lack of any real math aptitude to be a problem for me. I mean, yeah, I dropped out of college because of it, but only because college is not the real world. It's college. And I needed it because someone more important than me said I did. So I did.

However, in the real world, people more important than me said it again, and you know what? They were wrong. Turned out, I DIDN'T need it after all.

The effect of this in school made me rather introverted. However, the effects of it in real life made me angry. And then my anger made me arrogant about it. I'm not introverted any more. Chip on shoulder about it? You might say that. I dont' do math. I am not embarassed. I don't care what anyone thinks. I don't do math. Anyone has a problem with that can get bent. And anyone TRYING to embarass me about it will discover that not only can I play that game back...but I can play it better.

So bring it.

So, lack of understanding, yeah. Problem. Lack of a clue about long division? No problem whatsoever.
Edited by Dulcy on September 20 2008 02:18 AM
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Avalon Swan
#59 Print Post
Posted on February 24 2009 11:46 PM
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Hi all,
Me again! I breese by every once in a while and in breezing by here I noticed something that I think needs to be addressed. If it has previously, my applogies but it is rather important so I hopefully reiterate it here. Sorry Thespazzgirl but since your post fits, I will have to respectfully and with much affection for the affliction pick on you. Thespazzgirl wrote
thespazzgirl wrote:
Unfortunately I have a psychological damage story that still bothers me to this day. A few years ago, during math class the teacher called me to the board and had a problem out for me. She told me to solve it and I froze. I had no idea how to do it and I felt my face go beet-red. What's worse, kids started snickering at me. I felt just horrible and I didn't want to stand up there any longer than I had to so I just guessed and prayed it was close to the right answer. The kids burst out into laughter and my teacher just shook her head. It was wrong and I tried so hard not to cry as I stood there while she explained to me how I messed up. For the rest of the year whenver a math teacher would call me up to the board or ask me to solve a problem, some smart-mouth would say I didn't know how to do math. This always cracked people up.

The effects of this event have caused me to become quiet and a bit introverted because I've been afraid of saying the wrong answer in any subject because I'm afraid that people will laugh at me. It's terrible and I wish I could turn back time and somehow stop the teacher from calling on me.


This is a classic example of why I wanted to created this thread in the first place with eoffg. Venting these feelings is a great way of dispelling the negative effects of these events in a persons life. Most people and professionals not afflicted have a hard time understanding the impact our condition has on us as individuals. Especially in the relm of childhood developement. Therefore it is pertinant and of utmost importance that these feelings be addressed in a balanced and safe manner. Thespazzgirl said it best when she said she had "psychological damage" it is and therefore needs to be treated and respected as such. I cannot stress enough and would highly recomend to all that read these threads to seek the advise of a mental health councilor that understands the disability and has worked with childhood psycological problems. Venting these issues is a great start in overcoming the negative effects of having this disability, however a professional councilor will make it much easiler to perminatley reslove and heal the "Damage" properly. It can be done, I did it myself and it does not have to be all that encompassing, medical or medicated. Talking it out in a controlled and most importantly supportive manner with a professional can quicky overcome these types of psycological issues. Conversely bad advise or bad counciling can be just as damaging as the original events, so be careful with the picking of councilors and the council you accept from them and places like this. It's your mental health after all!

To thespazzgirl, I hope this forum helps and I hope that you can receive some counciling that will remediate a condition that unfortunately a lot of us in here have had to contend with. Thank you for letting me use you as a good example and again I hope you do well.Smile
Avalon's Swan
Their's lies, Damned Lies and then their's Statisics! Some old river pilot
 
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elena532
#60 Print Post
Posted on August 14 2009 04:22 PM
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i saw this thread and waited till i had time to write all of this down.
by the end, i might not even have covered it all, or forgotten it,.Pfft

ok, i know its for adults sort of, but it has affect me.Wink

right i think ill start at primary school.
p3 (only on i remember so far back)
the class was doing a little math booklet, i really really did not understand it AT all, and even though the teach was really nice, i sort of felt diffent to every on else. at a younge age, i guess that was not helpful.
p4 or p5. not sure
mr kelly. he put me down, did not stop CLEAR bullying in the classroom on me,a nd made me feel stupid in class.
though sadley 2 yrs ago his son commited sucide..Sad

omg! do i have to do this .... i will for my own sake
P6-7
mr mc kevver. the worst words them 2years/
he so teacher bullied me.... wen i told miss walsh the sortof head, the next day, mr mc kevver connered me and blocked the door and roared his blimming head off.....
let the class laugh at my mistakes. called me stupid amoung other things.
i did not have any friends in school. none at all.

0---------------------------------------0
2ndry school...
ill finsih typing this tomorrow.
(also, its not really dyscalcuila related, but my mum menatlly and phiscally abuses me, which means sometimes mathy comments from teachers sting abit more because there the only ones i can look up to saying my dad is divorced)
Don't annoy me, I am running out of places to hid the bodiesPfft
 
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