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Do you tell people that you have dyscalculia?





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Hi..New Member with an important question...
treedog
#1 Print Post
Posted on November 14 2008 05:55 PM
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Hi everyone. I'm new and glad to have found this site. Most people I know don't even know dyscalculia exists (and don't believe me when I tell them about it). Growing up, I was a straight A student with the exception of math. My family, not being the most nurturing or supportive people to begin with, accused me of being lazy (and even on drugs once or twice). Keep in mind that I would spend whole weekends studying for a single test and still managed to place tenth in my class despite low math grades (and, yet, nobody gave the idea that there might be a problem a second thought). It wasn't until I was an adult that I first heard of dyscalculia (dyslexia I learned about from The Cosby Show) and made the connection.
Here's my question (I hope someone has the answer): My son does well in math (so far...) but seems to have problems with spelling. Are dyscalculia and dyslexia similar enough that it can be passed on from parent to child in the way I suspect? Can a father have dyscalculia that is passed on and manifests as dyslexia?
Thanks for taking the time to read this everyone. I look forward to hearing from you (and hopefully getting an answer) and speaking with others that have an idea of what I've gone through (for the first time).
 
Laura
#2 Print Post
Posted on November 14 2008 08:56 PM
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Hey Treedog and welcome to the forum Smile
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT
 
treedog
#3 Print Post
Posted on November 14 2008 11:18 PM
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Thanks, Laura.
 
reverend blamo
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Posted on November 15 2008 12:16 AM
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Hello and welcome Treedog. I am certainly no expert, despite my need to give opinions, but I CAN tell you that my dad was dyslexic and I assume that my dyscalculia comes from him. Ironicly, he could do math amazing well, although he considered me a dummy because I couldn't.
"I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
Elvis Costello
 
twistedxkiss
#5 Print Post
Posted on November 15 2008 01:59 AM
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My dad's side of the family is heavily dyslexic, and I am dyscalculic. They were also all pretty bad at math, but that far back I don't think they knew about dyscalculia.

And he could always just have dyslexia regardless of your dyscalculia, if you suspect it it never hurts to have him screened.


Kinda makes me worry since I'm dyscalculic and my boyfriend is dyslexic!
 
justfoundout
#6 Print Post
Posted on November 15 2008 01:38 PM
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11/15/08
Dear Treedog,
I don't think that dyscalculia and dyslexia are related - but that's the reason that we love having this forum, so everybody's ideas get aired. (And, by the way, welcome to the forum.) Of course, one reason that I would have this opinion is that I'm dyscalculic, but not at all dyslexic. I think that my problem may have been from falling off my bicycle and hitting my head on the pavement as a kid, or maybe from the ether when I had my tonsils out at age 8. I Googled "left intraparietal sulcus" and saw the dyscalculia spot on the brain, and that's roughly where I hit my head when I was about 10 years old. Also, one of my pupils (eyes, not 'students') is larger than the other. A Chiropractor friend told me that that shows brain damage.

I'd love to keep writing, but have to leave for a college class. I'm an older female. - justfoundout
Edited by justfoundout on November 15 2008 01:39 PM
 
evie dee
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Posted on November 15 2008 04:46 PM
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Hello!
 
http://myspace.com/evie_dee
treedog
#8 Print Post
Posted on November 16 2008 01:07 AM
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Thanks to everyone for the welcome. I don't have a lot of time, right now, but I'm looking forward to talking to everyone. Thanks again.
 
jillk
#9 Print Post
Posted on November 16 2008 03:27 AM
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Hi...I'm new around here too, but thought i might add something. My son is dysgraphic (language: spelling, handwriting problems) and now we think we are finding some dyscalculia showing up. I have a family history (my father and brother) of LD's--although that was in the 1960's-1970's when nothing was known about these things. I truly believe its hereditary. I'm curious what grade your child's in and when the problems started manifesting themselves. My son's language disorder wasn't obvious late 2nd grade. The math struggles started late 3rd grade. We are now in 4th, and it took this long for me to realize he couldn't memorize basic math facts (sums, times tables--he has to use his fingers) and a recent test took him over twice the time of the others. My son DOES NOT have the majority of the symptoms, only a few--but they sure add up. ALSO, from what i've read on LD's, most of the "dys'" (dysgraphhia, dyscalculia) are just a branch from the dyslexia tree. All are related in one form or another.
I truly hope you find the answers you are looking for!
 
Lostinspatial
#10 Print Post
Posted on November 17 2008 05:05 PM
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Welcome. To add to what's already been said, visual spatial LDs can show up in a whole variety of ways, including math problems. I'm still going through the diagnostic process, but one thing I had a hard time with was copying from the board in school. The teachers send notes home about gettin my eyes checked. Having done some research on that, it may be linked to the visual spatial thing:

http://www.nldont...rsity.html
 
CheshireKat
#11 Print Post
Posted on November 17 2008 06:21 PM
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Welcome to the forum. Smile I don't know if dyslexia and dyscalculia are related genetically (and let me just say that it aggravates me that dyslexia is recognized in Spell Check, but dyscalculia isn't!) but I have heard that learning disorders in general tend to be hereditary. I am the only diagnosed dyscalculic in my family, but I have an uncle with severe AD/HD (he was diagnosed and medicated in the 1970s, and they didn't medicate anyone for AD/HD in the 70s, if that tells you how bad it was for him) and two male cousins with myriad learning disorders. So it seems that apples don't fall far from the tree in the case of LD's.
 
treedog
#12 Print Post
Posted on November 17 2008 09:51 PM
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Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond to my question and for making me feel welcome (Cheshire, I noticed the spell check thing too...I kept thinking I was spelling it wrong). It is so refreshing to speak to people who know what I've dealt (am dealing) with. Even today (I'm 32) my mother refuses to acknowledge my dycalculia and blames my academic problems in math on laziness. I think she feels like she dropped the ball by ignoring it at the time and doesn't want to admit it (like I said...she isn't the most nurturing of parents to begin with...clothed, fed and out at 18 sums up her parenting. Affection was displayed with gifts). Beyond that, I raised myself and didn't even discover dyscalculia until I read about it (in a comic book of all places) a few years ago. I wish, daily, that I had been treated when I was a teenager. It made school, Hell. I had no problem pulling straight A's outside of math (where I was happy with a D). It was a glaring difference to my general academic performance and written off to laziness...which if you hear often enough, you believe it, regardless of the facts (I'm sure I'm not alone here). Anyway, thanks to everyone....I'm really enjoying my time here.
 
tammyk1
#13 Print Post
Posted on November 18 2008 08:34 PM
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I used to get the "laziness" treatment as a kid as well, or the "youre not trying hard enough"; I think many of us did.

Sounds like your mother and mine were created from the same parenting mold, however I was kicked out at 15 and an emancipated minor at 16. She also doesnt believe I have dyscalculia even though my brother and father have severe dyslexia. I still get "youre just too smart" and "if you had just applied yourself", needless to say I speak very little to my parental units, due to behaviors like this.
 
treedog
#14 Print Post
Posted on November 19 2008 04:42 AM
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Tammy...Our parents do, indeed, sound the same. Sorry you had to deal with the same kind of situation. I know you get over it as you get older, but, it doesn't erase any of the bad memories.
 
dawn
#15 Print Post
Posted on November 19 2008 11:24 PM
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I am a parent and I would like to semi-confess and partly explain why we use these nasty terms. It boils down to using the wrong word sometimes. My son is a normal boy ie he can be lazy...and sometimes I tell him that. Also though, the biggest problem is avoidance. He fiddles about and mucks around and I spend 10 minutes coaxing and cajoling him to give me his attention while I just show him ,quickly and briefly, because I don't want to spend ages on a topic, the meaning of a maths concept and apply it to a few examples. And he plays with his toys or watches the end of a program and eventually I trap him in a bath and instead of listening he tells me some hilarious thing that happened and I persist in " If you could just give me your attention for a few minutes..that's all I want..a few minutes . It will help you understand it ....."and I try and make it fun and then I get frustrated and FLIP OUT and throw a wobbler.
Then I feel ashamed and I'm sorry . But my goodness the frustration is incredible. We have loves and cuddles all the time and laugh a lot and if there was no working memory problem then his life and mine would be idyllic.

As regards a link between dys/dat and dee other ie dyslexia dyspraxia and dyscalculia, well I think it all boils down to a weakness in the working memory area which is very diffuse and may have specific defects. There is no history of any LD in my family or my husbands family at all...and I hope it won't get passed down further generations because it is very debilitating and I wwish it wasn't there for my lovely boy.
 
monkeyfeathersmom
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Posted on November 19 2008 11:37 PM
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After reading dawn's reponse along with some of what you, treedog, and others have said, I had to look at my reactions as a parent. I've come to believe that there's a shut-off valve with my daughter about math. For example, maybe she gets out her homework and has difficulties right at the beginning. Then she shuts down. She makes excuses to do something else, or gets a snack, or just gets very distracted. Yes, she's ADD, but what I used to take as a laziness about her homework, may just be that shutting down. She works fairly hard with her other subjects. (There's always room for improvement with a 13 year old.) Smile We've had years of yelling and tears before I realized what may be going on with the dyscalculia.

It's a shame for those of you with parents who weren't or aren't supportive. It's hard enough to go through the frustrations of a learning disorder without having to justify yourself to the people who are supposed to support you the most.

I learn so much from you all.
 
twistedxkiss
#17 Print Post
Posted on November 20 2008 01:39 AM
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monkeyfeathersmom wrote:
After reading dawn's reponse along with some of what you, treedog, and others have said, I had to look at my reactions as a parent. I've come to believe that there's a shut-off valve with my daughter about math. For example, maybe she gets out her homework and has difficulties right at the beginning. Then she shuts down. She makes excuses to do something else, or gets a snack, or just gets very distracted. Yes, she's ADD, but what I used to take as a laziness about her homework, may just be that shutting down. She works fairly hard with her other subjects. (There's always room for improvement with a 13 year old.) Smile We've had years of yelling and tears before I realized what may be going on with the dyscalculia.

It's a shame for those of you with parents who weren't or aren't supportive. It's hard enough to go through the frustrations of a learning disorder without having to justify yourself to the people who are supposed to support you the most.

I learn so much from you all.


I would shut down in middle and high school. I would make attempts, but it wouldn't work, and then my parents would yell at me, so I became discouraged and would end up not getting anything done.
 
tammyk1
#18 Print Post
Posted on November 20 2008 03:13 AM
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treedog wrote:
Tammy...Our parents do, indeed, sound the same. Sorry you had to deal with the same kind of situation. I know you get over it as you get older, but, it doesn't erase any of the bad memories.


agreed

 
tammyk1
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Posted on November 20 2008 03:18 AM
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To Dawn, Twisted and the other parents on here,

You are all doing the right thing by trying to comprehend your childs difficulty with math, and yes sometimes parents do have a trigger and may get upset; heck we all get upset. I can only assume you are all wonderful parents because you are indeed trying to help your child, unfortunately for some of us that parental bug didnt hit our parents.

If I came off as all parents are like this I do apologize.
 
treedog
#20 Print Post
Posted on November 20 2008 04:22 AM
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I was going to comment on what Dawn had said but Tammy beat me to it. Dawn, there is a big difference between my mother (my father wasn't in the picture at all) and your average frustrated parent. I'm a dad, myself, and believe me, I understand that we don't always say the right thing. The difference with me is that my mother was oblivious to her actions (and to this day would deny it if you confronted her about it). Being frustrated is part of being a parent but those of us who do it right (or just try to) have children that understand when we are speaking out of stress, etc. They know that Mom and Dad always have their best interest at heart and put the children before themselves. I didn't have that with my parents. Mine didn't take the time to care. The truth is, sometimes, our kids are being lazy...sometimes they're not paying attention....but my mother held this theory universally, despite the all evidence to the contrary. I'm sorry if I'm not making my point clearly, but, it is late and I'm really tired. I just didn't want to wait until tomorrow to comment. I hope I made some sense. I guess the overall point is some people just weren't meant to be parents. I know my mother doesn't have a maternal bone in her body (or as Tammy put it, the parental bug). Good night everyone.
 
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