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Do you tell people that you have dyscalculia?





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school days
elaine
#1 Print Post
Posted on July 04 2008 08:47 PM
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Location: Scotland
Posts: 19

Joined: 2008-06-28

They say they are the best days of your life,what a laugh,for the ones who could do the work,they got all the help in the world,but me i was left to sit.
I was verbally abused everyday from teachers and pupils builled,because i could not do the maths and the class was kept in until i got the maths correct which was never.
But i am married and have 3 sons,my middle son has dyscalculia also,my other 2 sons are university graduates and my middle son is going to try college to learn a trade.
I was born into a family who were very clever people,and i was a puzzle to them,but i got so much love at home it made up for the life i had in school.
I am off work just now having suffering anxiety attacks and i am in counselling,my counsellor found this web site and was dismayed that there was no help out there for people suffering this condition.
I have never wrote before of how this affects me and the people who live with me,i know i can be hard work sometimes with paying the bills etc.
I wish the web site well and the people who use it to find some peace in their lives,and support to carry on.Smile
Elaine
 
Laura
#2 Print Post
Posted on July 04 2008 09:27 PM
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Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229

Joined: 2006-11-16

Hey Elaine and welcome to the fourm.

Despite my lack in Mathamatical Knowledge, i really enjoyed school. I think if you read most post's here their experiences are far worse than mines. I think i must have been a bit of a weird child heehee!!!
I didn't really succeed in anything academically at school. However i did have a good singing voice- possibly hence the positive school experience. I have never been diagnoisised and i am in 2 minds if i want to be or not. Don't get me wrong i had my fair share of school heartaches. I was bullied in Primary School for my in abilites in Reading and Maths. I also had the joys of seeing my older brother and my twin sister pass high levels in Maths. I was constantly in the bottom sets at school. I was known as the stupid or dumb twin. I hated homework time as i could never do it. I always ended up in tears and the tantrums i use to have were unreal- i still cringe now when i think back.
No-one mentioned this disability, i found it a few years ago while being frustrated at the prospect of having no career in my life. The Maths situation kinda puts a damper on most of the good career's out there. I was in Supported Learning through Primary School and received extra Support in 1st and 2nd Year at High school. I use to always say i was Dyslexic with Numbers, but i never actually knew there was such a thing as Dyscalculia. I think i was lucky in school as my teachers realised i had "issues" with Maths and gave me that extra support. But i don't think it was given soon enough. I was told i have a fear of numbers, but i do not understand why as ironiclally i like doing Maths, it's just that i am impaired in some way to grasp basic concepts.

I hope your son is progressing well. I also hope you are ok and that the counselling helps. Say a big Thank You to your Counsellor S/HE seems like a cool person Smile
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT
 
justfoundout
#3 Print Post
Posted on July 04 2008 10:27 PM
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Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

Joined: 2008-05-25

7/4/08
Hi Elaine,
Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you and your counselor found us here. It pleases me very much that a counselor would care enough about his client to go hunting for other people she can relate to.

I almost put this next part as a Private Message (SEND PM), but I'll go ahead and put it out on the forum. Many people who have anxiety attacks are suffering from mercury poisoning. The silver-colored amalgam tooth fillings contain mercury. This mercury leaches out of the tooth fillings, and then has to be eliminated by the body. As we get older, our metabolism slows down and we can't eliminate poisons as well as we could when we were younger. The solution? Have a dentist drill out (remove) your amalgam (mercury-laden) fillings and replace them with white epoxy. White epoxy isn't perfectly non-toxic either. Only your own, real teeth are perfectly non-toxic. But you will experience a feeling of freedom after the mercury fillings are removed. I did this for myself in the year 2000. It took 4 separate appointments at the dentist to get free of that toxic metal, and also took about $2000 dollars. I had a whole head full of the stuff. Get all metal out of your mouth.

In case you think I'm just boring or think I can solve everybody's problems, that's not it. This is the one thing where I know what I'm talking about. You can Google search "Hulda Clark". It was her wonderful book, "The Cure for All Diseases" where I finally became convinced to do this for myself.

I've failed Elementary Algebra 3 times. Because I can't do Algebra, I haven't been able to get a 2-year degree. Without the degree, I've had to take the fast-paced, multi-tasking, financial and data-entry jobs. I've had to work at every job that is the hardest for me, hence I've suffered a lot of hard times in the work place, and I never get the bonuses or the promotions. When I multi-task, I can't remember what I was doing and where I was in the process that I was doing. So I have to slowly re-trace my steps until I remember where I was. About then, the phone rings, or someone tells me to go make copies. I try to be cheerful and not return unkind remarks, but a lot of people take advantage of my self-control and see it as 'weakness'.

I'm sorry that you're having the anxiety attacks, and whether or not you get the mercury fillings removed, you have my deepest sympathy. Also, I'm so sorry you were bullied and ridiculed in school. Laura mentioned that she had a good singing voice and that she thinks that helped her avoid unpleasantness regarding her math ability. I do believe that Laura has 'hit on something' here. In my jobs, when I get bullied, it comes from people who have quickly come to the conclusion that there is nothing I have that will benefit them. When a person has an obvious 'gift', like a beautiful singing voice, or is rich ($), or gives great parties, then even the people who are cruel refrain from bullying, because they see it as there being 'something in it for them'.

Please keep checking back on the forum. There are people from all walks of life here, people with different 'mixes' of disabilities, people of all levels of education, parents who care about their kids with dyscalculia, and people from all nations and races. Dyscalculia is without borders.
justfoundout
 
evie dee
#4 Print Post
Posted on July 04 2008 11:48 PM
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Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 570

Joined: 2007-12-01

Justfoundout,
One of my gifts was being really smart. On a few occassions, I took tests to see if I could get into the gifted program at school. My mainstream and special ed teachers felt that I would benefit more from that program instead of the special ed program. I would pass the spelling, and English portions with flying colors, but fail the math miserably. I could even write in cursive way before my classmates could! Why? Simply because I figured out how to do it! When my mom saw me doing this in the first grade, she was impressed. She asked how I was doing it? I said, I don't know. I'm just doing it. I've always had a knack for putting two and two together.
My peers saw this, and some of them would even ask me for help with their homework. I would explain the work, and I would tell themnot ot cheat.
One girl who shall remain namelss took advantage of this once, and cheated off of me. The teacher cuaght her. She thought I told her. And she hops on my back, pushes me to the grounnd (I was much lighter than she was, so it's incredibly easy to knock me on my feet)-and to make matters worse, becaue she was a senior at the time (I was a sophomore), the school didn't do one damn thing to punsih her. I was the one who was punished. But keep in mind-I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. It was the teacher that figured out what the little lowlife did, and caught her-so why was I was taking all the blame? Keep in mind-I was in shock! It happened too fast, my mind couldn't keep up with the events. (When something happens-sucha s a car accident or you injure yourself-your mind can't keep up with the events-it feels like your body is going, but your mind can't keep up.) I really felt that she shouldn't have gotten a slap on the wrist, but I shouldn't have suffered the comsequences and repurcussions.
People bully others because a) they don't like themselves, and Cool they feel small, so they have to feel big by making others feel their pain.
Eviedee
 
http://myspace.com/evie_dee
justfoundout
#5 Print Post
Posted on July 05 2008 12:10 AM
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Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

Joined: 2008-05-25

7/4/08
Yes, Evie dee, I completely know what you mean when you say, "... It happened too fast, my mind couldn't keep up with the events. (When something happens-sucha s a car accident or you injure yourself-your mind can't keep up with the events-it feels like your body is going, but your mind can't keep up.)"

Part of what I've been doing in these last 6 weeks, since learning of the existence of dyscalculia, is re-living a lot of bad things that have happened to me, but this time, re-living them in the light of the dyscalculia. I think of times when I didn't want to discuss something important, not because I didn't have a lot to say, but because the other person (or persons) had more power than me, and THEY would be choosing the aspects of the subject to be discussed, and THEY would be deciding when THEY had heard enough and we would be moving on to a different issue, etc., etc.. I knew that if they would WRITE down what they wanted to know, I could give a good answer. But if they wrote it down, they knew that they would be loosing the strategic advantage of their faster minds working against my slower mind. Also, I don't do well under stress, especially when I have a lot to loose. Does any of this seem like part of what happened to you with the teacher and the girl at school? Did you feel like your dyscalculia was part of the reason that you couldn't defend yourself?
justfoundout
Edited by justfoundout on July 05 2008 03:06 PM
 
elaine
#6 Print Post
Posted on July 05 2008 02:19 PM
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Location: Scotland
Posts: 19

Joined: 2008-06-28

Thank you so much for letting me know how it has been for you,i still cannot take in that in 3 generations of my family nothing has ever been done for this curse of a condition.
My dad also has dyscalculia and he is 76,i am 45 and my son is 24.
I saw this in my son when he was young and told the school but i was told i was mistaken all he needed was extra help in the classAngry
By the time he was going to high school a meeting was held and the school said i was right all along,but too late for my son.
I had to pay a primary school teacher for 4 years to try and help my son keep up with his math work.Sad
He left at 16 with very low grades and worked in a factory making sweets,but he has now wants a better life and is going to try brick laying and landscape gardening,so i hope he does well.
Thanks again for writing it was amazing to read your life and how you all coped with the rubbish that you went through.
Elaine
 
Toe_Nail
#7 Print Post
Posted on July 05 2008 03:06 PM
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Welcome to the forum elaine (pretty name by the way) Smile
It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer -- Albert Einstein
 
justfoundout
#8 Print Post
Posted on July 05 2008 03:25 PM
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Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

Joined: 2008-05-25

7/5/08
You're welcome, Elaine. We talk about what has happened to us to help others and also, because we just need to tell others who understand. I haven't mentioned this here on the forum before, but I've been mulling it over in my mind for a while. My father was a good small business manager, but in spite of being good with the cash register and scheduling, he did have an undiagnosed disability. He would put the first half of one 'saying' together with the last half of another 'saying' and come out with some very unique combinations. He once got the word 'partial' mixed up with the word 'impartial', and we all had to sit through an hour-long Bible lecture hearing 'God is not impartial' over and over. I feel a certain compassion for our current 'pres' because my dad talked a lot like that.

My grandmother (on the other side of the family) was one of the most wonderful people who ever walked the earth. She helped me pass high school 'algebra one'. She loved algebra and saw it as solving a puzzle. She had been a schoolteacher in 'one room schoolhouses' where she taught all grades. But later in her life, we noticed she would make a lot of 'spoonerisms'. That's where you say things like, "I'd like to have a 'coff of cuppy'", instead of saying a 'cup of coffee'. I don't think that my grandmother was dyscalculic, and as I said about my father, he was a good business manager and good with the cash register and scheduling. So, I don't think that I'm 'third generation dyscalculic', but I do think that there was 'something different' about the wiring of their brains, in some respect.
justfoundout
Edited by justfoundout on July 05 2008 03:29 PM
 
elaine
#9 Print Post
Posted on July 06 2008 09:11 PM
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Location: Scotland
Posts: 19

Joined: 2008-06-28

Thank You Toe_Nail for your kind wordsSmile
 
elaine
#10 Print Post
Posted on July 06 2008 09:15 PM
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Location: Scotland
Posts: 19

Joined: 2008-06-28

SmileJustfoundout,Your dad and Grandmother were very special people,and had their own gifts and qualities,and i think you are right when they were getting mixed up with their words,and making up words of their own.
But they would know what they were meaning,even if no one else did,i am so glad you got the help and support from your Grandmother in maths and you got a pass!!
 
Edelweiss
#11 Print Post
Posted on July 07 2008 10:49 AM
Member

Location: Switzerland
Posts: 65

Joined: 2007-04-04

Hi
I have just finished High School and I'm so happy I was able to finish it because I thought of giving up almost 2 or 3 times (because of the maths...)Fortunately there was some subjects I enjoyed really like languages or history and I think it's because I could compensate my lack in mathematics with these subjects that I passed...
I also had the luck to have parents that paid numerous extra lessons in maths tought I didn't really improve Angry
So just to say to everbody no to give up and realize your dreams (even if people tell you that you'll never be able to do it -like some told me-don't listen to them )
You have the right to study what you want and it's not because you learn in a different way that you cannot suceedPfft
 
Laura
#12 Print Post
Posted on July 07 2008 11:05 AM
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Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229

Joined: 2006-11-16

Hey Edelweiss WELLDONE on finishing High School Smile
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT
 
justfoundout
#13 Print Post
Posted on July 07 2008 01:19 PM
Member

Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

Joined: 2008-05-25

7/7/08
Dear Edelweiss,
Welcome and Good for You!. What a great name you choose. I was in Switzerland many, many years ago. What a beautiful country. How I hope I will see it again. The mountains were breath-taking, and yes, I loved the little, white, velvety, edelweiss flowers.

I finished High School with the help of my German-descent, schoolteacher grandmother. She helped me with my Algebra One, and then I took Geometry and Business math the next year, instead of Algebra Two. I never really understood Algebra One, but I always showed up with my homework because of my grandmother's help. Her ancestors were from Bavaria, and she was born in a little German town in Texas called Fredricksburg.

Please keep coming back to the forum.
justfoundout
Edited by justfoundout on July 08 2008 12:44 PM
 
elaine
#14 Print Post
Posted on July 07 2008 08:33 PM
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Location: Scotland
Posts: 19

Joined: 2008-06-28

I forgot to tell you all about this,when the school sent for my parent's to say that i had a problem with numbers,they said i had dyslexia.
They told my parent's to buy me loads of dot-to-dot books,drawing by numbers,as they said it was a hand and eye thing that was not working,also i would need someone with me buying clothes as i would be out all dressed in different coloursAngry.
So i had these blasted books every day,but i could not do them i just drew the picture,but they knew never said anything and bought me more,lolSmile
 
Laura
#15 Print Post
Posted on July 08 2008 10:45 AM
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Location: Scotland
Posts: 1229

Joined: 2006-11-16

OMG that's weird. So it was a dot-dot book that was it?? That's a random thing to say. God i must be Dyscalculic then as i only ever wear colours heehee!! Red's my favourite colour all my clothes are red with the odd green/blue/white/yellow/pink/black/grey/aqua heehee!!!
BEEN THERE DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT
 
Lostinspatial
#16 Print Post
Posted on July 08 2008 12:15 PM
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Location: That would require me to know where I was
Posts: 429

Joined: 2008-06-08

Interesting about the colors. Despite being born to my mom, the coordination queen, I have issues with getting colors to match. I like bright colors, but I try to pair them with black, navy, grey, brown, white so as not to clash.

But color coding with highlighters & envelopes to organize myself work well. Not sure why.
 
HouseMDfan110
#17 Print Post
Posted on April 15 2009 09:50 AM
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Location: No value
Posts: 88

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So, Elaine, did you finnish high school? I am still at school, and I hate it. I don't do math for obvious reasons. It's all the other bonuses that come with Dyscalculia that I'm having difficulty. Sport for example. Uncoordinated. Biology= requires math sometimes, I'm sure you know what I mean.

I never thought it would come to this, but the pending question is whether or not to complete it. My mind is open, and I think that the best way to contribute to a decision is to ask questions to people who have been there and done that.

Math is something you need in everyday life, so what do you do for a living? Just a brief outline would be great!

I apologize for the flood of questions!
 
Dulcy
#18 Print Post
Posted on April 15 2009 01:19 PM
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Location: American Southeast
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I hated school with the burning hatred of a thousand exploding suns. I hated every minute of every day of it. Gaaaaah.Sad

I don't let my daughter know this. I don't want her to be like me.

To this day, I have a phobia about schools and classrooms.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"
The Summer Day by Mary Oliver
 
http://www.fivedollarmail.blogspot.com/
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