The Dyscalculia Forum
July 29 2014 06:39 AM

Navigation

Login

Username

Password



Not a member yet?
Click here to register.

Forgotten your password?
Request a new one here.

Forum Threads

Member Poll

Do you tell people that you have dyscalculia?





You must login to vote.

Users Online

· Guests Online: 9

· Members Online: 0

· Total Members: 6,054
· Newest Member: directionallyimpaired

View Thread

 Print Thread
Dear . . .
justfoundout
#41 Print Post
Posted on August 05 2008 03:45 AM
Member

Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

Joined: 2008-05-25

8/4/08
Blamo, your letter to Mister Job (above) couldn't have come at a better time for me. This isn't even the right Thread for what I'm posting. I got fired today. It was a part-time job that half of the people who get hired for it quit within days, because it pays almost nothing and it's a dead-end job. I was trying as hard as I could to do it right, but still got fired. There is a lot of turn-over at this job, not because people get fired, but because they quit. After I drove there, using my gasoline, and clocked in on time, the young-kid manager told me they were "letting me go". He said it was because I wasn't setting as many appointments as my classmates, but I'm suspecting that me telling the manager lady about my dyscalculia may have had something to do with it. I'm feeling kind of 'down' over it. It came as a bad surprise.

Here's the good news. I have a job interview tomorrow morning at 10am. I'm trying to get a bilingual admin assistant job, near my house, working for Head Start. I'm sure there will be many applicants, but I'll really try to get it. It would pay 1 1/2 times what the other job paid. The interview is at a different location, so I'll have to leave early tomorrow morning. I have nice 'telephone' friends here, and they hope I'll get it.

Here's the other good news. My DARS counselor had a cancellation and gave the spot to me! I'll go tomorrow at 2pm to get the results from my dyscalculia test, instead of waiting until next Monday. Maybe getting fired will work in my favor, since the DARS counselor is able to give job placement assistance. I just needed to 'talk' to someone, so I came here to the forum. I think that our forum is different from what people usually think of when they think that the internet only provides a 'facade' of caring within chatrooms. We are people with lives, friends, and responsibilities who share a mutual challenge. Nice to have all of you to come home to this evening.
justfoundout
 
reverend blamo
#42 Print Post
Posted on August 05 2008 10:01 AM
Member

Location: Island of Misfit Toys
Posts: 620

Joined: 2007-10-25

I am sad for you and happy for you. It seems sometimes being fired can actually be a good thing. I needed it before because I was to comfortable in a job that was crushing my soul, destroying my dreams and mangling any hope (and OHSA couldn't do anythingPfft) I DON"T need this to happen now, I can't handle this failure.
I am glad to hear this seems to be a good move for you. Goood luck.
"I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
Elvis Costello
 
justfoundout
#43 Print Post
Posted on August 05 2008 01:57 PM
Member

Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

Joined: 2008-05-25

8/5/08
Thanks. Leaving now for interview. Bye, justfoundout
 
Lostinspatial
#44 Print Post
Posted on August 05 2008 03:32 PM
Member

Location: That would require me to know where I was
Posts: 429

Joined: 2008-06-08

Animal Hugger, Glad things are getting better

Rev. Blamo, I hope things improve with work. That's soo frustrating when you hit a rough patch. Hope things smooth out.

Just Found Out, Good luck with the Head Start interview. It sounds like a better fit for you & an opportunity to use your talents to help others. Let us know how it goes.
 
evie dee
#45 Print Post
Posted on August 05 2008 05:59 PM
Member

Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 570

Joined: 2007-12-01

Dear 8th and 9th grade bullies,
Thank you for making my life a living hell! Thank you for being so intolerant of someone new, you chose to live with your head shoved so far up your ass. What have you done with your pathetic lives? That's right-you work a crappy job (and by crappy, I mean waiting tables or managing a McDonald's in the Detroit area, or working as a janitor at said McDonald's or pumping gas to I'm-too-good-to-pump-my-own-gas motorists who can't take their hands away from their cell phones for two second, or cleaning toilets at said gas station, etc), while I've had to work my share of crappy jobs that paid good money! That's right-I've made good money, while you make $2.65 an hour! And I've read your myspace pages-you still think that you're all that, and yet, you have five kids, are unmarried, have no college education, and you are still proud. What kind of life is that, I may ask? I'll tell you! A rather shitty one!
I had the balls to make something of myself! I have two college degrees, and I'm going for my masters in a few years. That's right! A masters.
Love,
Eva

Dear the one bully,
I've looked at your myspace page, and I really have to give you my kudos! You made something of yourself-got an MBA, married, and are a true success story! I say, congratulations on your success and all of your future endeavors. Don't let anyone get in the way of your dreams, because you know that you can do whatever you set your mind to. If we see each other, I would like to treat you to some lunch or dinner or something.
Love,
Eva
 
http://myspace.com/evie_dee
AnimalHugger
#46 Print Post
Posted on August 05 2008 09:18 PM
Member

Location: United States
Posts: 191

Joined: 2008-05-24

justfoundout wrote:
8/4/08
Dear AnimalHugger,
Your story is crystal clear. Thanks for sharing it with us.
justfoundout


You're welcome. Thanks for sharing your story, too! I'm sorry about your job, but I hope that being fired opens up something better. Keep us posted!

And thanks, Lisa, for the well wishes!

It really saddens me to see just how many Dyscalculics suffer....We need to spread the word about this. Nobody should have to go through with the things that we have to put up with. I just can't believe how much bitterness and anger so many people are expressing. If only we all lived closer and could commiserate together! I just wish that I knew that others were going through what I went through....This forum is such a great place.
I'm NOT stupid!!!!!
 
Igottabeme
#47 Print Post
Posted on August 07 2008 08:43 PM
Member

Location: Texas
Posts: 22

Joined: 2008-07-31

Thank You, Lisa_, for this thread!!!

(I forgot to thank you the other day)
Be Glad I'm Not a Twin...
 
evie dee
#48 Print Post
Posted on August 28 2008 04:48 PM
Member

Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 570

Joined: 2007-12-01

Dear clever napkins,
I know that your on the Vines forum. But here's one thing I noticed about you-you really love to attack people who are different from you, don't think like you, or arent's just like you. You expect people to agree with you all the time. I'm sorry-it's a band forum, and there are people that are different from you, and think differently from you. That's just the way it is. Not everyone is going to kiss your ass! I'm not one of those people. I'm not sorry for making posts about a certain band member on that forum-but my gut instict-the one thing that I trust completely, the one thing that has gotten me out of tight situations where I know I would be harmed-sensed that the band member and his gf had broken up, a month before it happened! And you used my posts in those threads to openly attack and harrass me. I've also noticed you do the same thing with other posters, and we have a right to our opinion-that's why it's a fucking forum!
Also, I started a disorders thread so that the posters that have disorders can have a nice, safe, open place to talk about their problems, and get some advice. But no! I couldn't even do that without you harrassing me and attacking me about it. No wonder nobody comes when you're on-we all know that you will attack those that are different. So I broke a forum rule-so what? In case you haven't noticed, it happens all the time. If I were a mod, I'd so have you banned! I think you deserve a banning! Pardon me for wanting to start a nice open place to talk about what I may be going through without judgement from people like you. I will admit my mistakes-and I know that I'm not perfect-and I don't regret my posts for one bit. You have a need to knock people down, berate them, and then get on your high horse to get them to think like you! Do you have friends? Do you do this with your family? I'm sorry, but the world is full of different people who think what they want to without apology-and that's how I choose to live, without apology. When I said that the band member and his now ex could have been broken up, guess what? It was bound to happen! We do know that they are broken up, but the point is I knew it was going to happen before it happened, based on my gut instict. I suggest you really think about what you're doing clever napkins, because there are people like me who aren't going to stand for your shit any longer.
I'm sorry, but some one needs to stand up. And you asked who you harrassed-me, and shambles, and Luarallina to name a few-well, pardon me and them) for not thinking like you. Like I've said before-we have a right to our opinions, and you can't respect it!
Love,
Evie Dee
 
http://myspace.com/evie_dee
evie dee
#49 Print Post
Posted on September 09 2008 08:22 PM
Member

Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 570

Joined: 2007-12-01

Dear tutor R,
Thank you for believeing in me. Never once did you give up on me, like so many other people. You're the one that actually recognized that I did have a learning disability. And you even encouraged me to take the math profiency test for the thrid time-and I'm so glad that I took it and failed, and was able to get a waiver from the test.
Thank you so much for your help. It was greatly appreciated.
Love,
Eva
 
http://myspace.com/evie_dee
justfoundout
#50 Print Post
Posted on September 09 2008 09:58 PM
Member

Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

Joined: 2008-05-25

9/9/08
Dear Evie Dee,
I'm asking you this on the wrong Thread, so please excuse me. Were you able to get a waiver from the test without a diagnosis of dyscalculia? Was the waiver just for one test, or was it for a whole math class? I'm getting pretty tired of not having a degree just because of those three algebra credits that I'm missing. Thanks, - justfoundout
 
evie dee
#51 Print Post
Posted on September 10 2008 11:09 PM
Member

Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 570

Joined: 2007-12-01

justfoundout wrote:
9/9/08
Dear Evie Dee,
I'm asking you this on the wrong Thread, so please excuse me. Were you able to get a waiver from the test without a diagnosis of dyscalculia? Was the waiver just for one test, or was it for a whole math class? I'm getting pretty tired of not having a degree just because of those three algebra credits that I'm missing. Thanks, - justfoundout

Dear justfoundout,
I was able to get a waiver from the test. All I had to was go to Wayne State University's EAS office, and prove that I had dysclaclulia with written documentation.And with no official diagnosis stating that I had it. And my caseworker was able to get me a waiver, after I met with her.
I don't know which university you go to, but I would call your university's EAS office to find out how you can obtain a waiver from algebra.
I feel your frustration. No matter how many times I repeated the same math course-and failing it, no matter how hard I tried-it was the one thing preventing me from getting my degree.
Love,
Evie Dee
 
http://myspace.com/evie_dee
justfoundout
#52 Print Post
Posted on September 11 2008 02:23 AM
Member

Location: Texas USA
Posts: 6315

Joined: 2008-05-25

9/10/08
Thanks, Evie,
I'm sorry but I'm still a lilttle bit confused. First, what does EAS stand for? We probably have some similar office here, but with a different name.

Also, you told me this: "All I had to was go to Wayne State University's EAS office, and prove that I had dysclaclulia with written documentation.And with no official diagnosis stating that I had it."

What was the "written documentation" that you used to prove that you had dyscalculia? My problem is that I did take a test, but the psychologist says that it doesn't show dyscalculia. I don't know what else I can take to the college that could get my math credits waived. - justfoundout
 
evie dee
#53 Print Post
Posted on September 11 2008 01:21 PM
Member

Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 570

Joined: 2007-12-01

justfoundout wrote:
9/10/08
Thanks, Evie,
I'm sorry but I'm still a lilttle bit confused. First, what does EAS stand for? We probably have some similar office here, but with a different name.

Also, you told me this: "All I had to was go to Wayne State University's EAS office, and prove that I had dysclaclulia with written documentation.And with no official diagnosis stating that I had it."

What was the "written documentation" that you used to prove that you had dyscalculia? My problem is that I did take a test, but the psychologist says that it doesn't show dyscalculia. I don't know what else I can take to the college that could get my math credits waived. - justfoundout

Dear justfound out,
EAS stands for Educational Accessibility Student. And every college university has one, but they're not all that name.
I found my documentation when I was looking for my papers when I went to go see my college guidance counselor. He then sent me to the Educational Accessability Student office, and I met my caseworker. She was the one that found the documentation and told me about my dyscalculia. I didn't realize that I had the documentation-but I'm glad that someone found it!
I do know that you can get tested at any college for dyscalculia. Your Special Needs dtudent office should have all the info that you need to get tested for DC. It never hurts to go to your colleges website or call the Special Needs office directly to find out when testing is.
Love,
Evie Dee
 
http://myspace.com/evie_dee
Toe_Nail
#54 Print Post
Posted on September 11 2008 08:43 PM
User Avatar

Member

Location: No value
Posts: 915

Joined: 2006-08-13

I thought this thread was an interesting one since it started. So I went ahead and wrote lengthy letters filled with hate, anger and resentment aimed at my ex-employers and others that misjudged me and hurt me badly in my past with the intent of posting them here, in this thread. I actually spent a whole lot of time writing these letters which never seemed to have an end and that didnít make me feel better. It made me feel worst in fact, as I re-lived the pain deep inside of me but mostly, it prompted strong emotions, mixed feeling of sadness and anger, which kind of scared me for I suddenly barely could recognize myself anymore Ė I deleted those letters and never posted them.

I know that itís alright to feel sad and to feel angry, but then it occurred to me that to express these feelings in a vengeful-like fashion isnít really what I am. I doubted that it would bring any kind of comfort in the end process Ė Especially that there is one of my ex-employers whom it turns out that I know where to find her and that I could actually send this letter to; it occurred to me that if I could do it for real that I could never actually send such a hate-filled letter to anyone. I thought it would make me look bad and bitter rather than obtain the understanding and empathy, which is what I really am longing for.

On the other hand, forgiveness isnít necessarily the answer either. Thereís a thing I donít like about forgiveness; it is that it comes with a tad of condescendence (You hurt me, but I am above that. I forgive you). I always disliked condescendence; it rubs me the wrong way. Also, when something really hurts, I think itís a mistake to be too quick to forgive. Because if you forgive and that you still have those hurting feelings inside, how could you go on and live secretly resenting someone whom youíre supposed to have forgiven? My philosophy might strike some as to be an odd one but I say: Heal. Then forgive.

If I actually could write this letter, what would I actually write? I went ahead and wrote the letter below this morning. I havenít sent it yet and I donít know if Iím going to actually send it but Iíd like to know what you guys think.


-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear B.,

I hope that this letter will find its way to you as I have something important to tell you. You must certainly remember me; about 15 years ago I worked for you at <<name of workplace>> and you had fired me. It wasnít the first and neither the last job that I got fired from. However, a little over a year ago I went for a neuropsychological evaluation (cognitive tests) from which it was found that I have a form of dyslexia called ďdyscalculiaĒ.

I finally understood that you fired me because I was doing careless mistakes, counting mistakes, entering the wrong numbers in the cash register, handing the wrong change back to the customers and didnít balance at the end of my work shift Ė I am not a thief, a drug addict and neither am I stupid or incompetent like it has been suggested on many occasions. Among other, at our employeeís Christmas dinner some December 23rd at <<name of restaurant >> in <<name of place>> where I have been the subject of your and everyoneís mocking in public.

I donít blame you for firing me; you were losing money because of me but that doesnít justify insulting my intelligence and to ridicule me in public. I spent the next 15 years feeling guilty and having difficulties adapting myself in the workplace. I couldnít understand what I had done so terrible to deserve such treatment. I donít know if Iíll ever be able to heal my wounds and recover completely.

I never meant to cause you any trouble and it is important to me to let you know how a rather benign learning difference such as dyscalculia can in the long term, have quite severe consequences in a personís life and well being. As a matter of fact, dyscalculia isnít the culprit, ignorance is Ė This said, here are links to the National and Provincial LD association web sites where youíll find information about dyscalculia and other learning differences.

<<Links to the websites >>

Sincerely,
Toe_Nail

Edited by Toe_Nail on September 11 2008 10:58 PM
It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer -- Albert Einstein
 
Toe_Nail
#55 Print Post
Posted on September 12 2008 04:24 PM
User Avatar

Member

Location: No value
Posts: 915

Joined: 2006-08-13

Update: I applied some changes in the above letter (the actual letter is in French) but the essence is the same and I mailed the letter last night.

Actually, that was easy. I had a harder time deciding weather or not I should end my letter with "Sincerely" and then sign my name or just sign my name (I wrote just my name) and had a hard time deciding weather or not I should write a return adress on the envelopee (I opted for no return adress)

I'm pretty comfortable with that I will never know weather or not my letter reached its destination. But then, even with a return adress included, there is nothing that says that my ex-boss would reply , so there again, I would never know if my letter was read and received. The only garantee that the return adress provide is that if myletter gets lost, it will be returned to me. In which case, I'll have the certainty that my letter was never received - I figured that I'd rather hope and fancy that it it reaches its destination than finding-out for sure that it never got there.

Also it occured to me that 15 years have gone by and that this person maybe has changed, maybe has children now and living a happy life. I concluded that in such instance, I don't really want to find out what impact my letter will have on her. Will she cry or will she dismiss my letter, tossing it in the trash? I dont want to know. I also don't want this person to write back to me to tell me how sorry she is or whatever. I don't really care to know about that either, espescially that I don't really feel ready to forgive. I don't want to feel obliged to forgive.

I said what I wanted to say, I told my side of the story which, I couldn't have done 15 years ago. Now I did and that's the conclusion of my relationship with her.


Edited by Toe_Nail on September 12 2008 04:33 PM
It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer -- Albert Einstein
 
reverend blamo
#56 Print Post
Posted on September 12 2008 07:00 PM
Member

Location: Island of Misfit Toys
Posts: 620

Joined: 2007-10-25

Before I read your update I had assumed you had involved a return address (or phone #) thinking so I wondering what their response would be. I tried placing myself in that position, I think I would want to apologize for my actions. but then again, if she hadn't changed would she FEEL sorry. After all she was capable of mockery in a very cruel way.
I guess what I am saying is, good idea, no return address sounds like a better idea and it seems the letter explains yourself well.
"I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..."
Elvis Costello
 
Lostinspatial
#57 Print Post
Posted on September 12 2008 08:13 PM
Member

Location: That would require me to know where I was
Posts: 429

Joined: 2008-06-08

Toe_Nail wrote:
it occurred to me that if I could do it for real that I could never actually send such a hate-filled letter to anyone. I thought it would make me look bad and bitter rather than obtain the understanding and empathy, which is what I really am longing for.


Yeah, that's why we just vent/write here instead of actually sending them! Though I would like to bill my old Vice Principal for some of the money it's costing to get testing done now that should have been done back when I was in school! Grin


On the other hand, forgiveness isnít necessarily the answer either. Thereís a thing I donít like about forgiveness; it is that it comes with a tad of condescendence (You hurt me, but I am above that. I forgive you). I always disliked condescendence; it rubs me the wrong way. Also, when something really hurts, I think itís a mistake to be too quick to forgive. Because if you forgive and that you still have those hurting feelings inside, how could you go on and live secretly resenting someone whom youíre supposed to have forgiven? My philosophy might strike some as to be an odd one but I say: Heal. Then forgive.


I agree partially with you. I think there's a difference between letting go (allowing a person's words/actions to no longer hurt one) and forgiveness (truly pardoning someone for a wrong they've done). IMHO, forgiveness generally only comes about when the person has expressed genuinine remorse. But I don't think it's condscenging. More like people realize there's been a wrong done to one party, the other party is sorry for it and they don't want it to destroy their relationship or friendship.

As to whether you should send it, I agree with Rev. Blamo. You may not get the reaction you want. Are you prepared?
Edited by Lostinspatial on September 12 2008 08:21 PM
 
Toe_Nail
#58 Print Post
Posted on September 12 2008 09:35 PM
User Avatar

Member

Location: No value
Posts: 915

Joined: 2006-08-13

Lisa_ wrote:
Yeah, that's why we just vent/write here instead of actually sending them! Though I would like to bill my old Vice Principal for some of the money it's costing to get testing done now that should have been done back when I was in school! Grin


Hey Lisa Smile I didn't mean that to sound as I'm passing judgment on the rest of you guys. I agree that venting our anger/frustrations can provide releif - Based on your comment, I think we understand the difference between writting a letter here and actually sending one Wink



Lisa_ wrote:I agree partially with you. I think there's a difference between letting go (allowing a person's words/actions to no longer hurt one) and forgiveness (truly pardoning someone for a wrong they've done). IMHO, forgiveness generally only comes about when the person has expressed genuinine remorse. But I don't think it's condscenging. More like people realize there's been a wrong done to one party, the other party is sorry for it and they don't want it to destroy their relationship or friendship.


That's an interesting point of view. I haven't thought of it that way. I like it.

Lisa_ wrote:
As to whether you should send it, I agree with Rev. Blamo. You may not get the reaction you want. Are you prepared?


I actually did send it (see the post above blamo's post) I will never know what her reaction is going to be because I didn't include a return adress.
Edited by Toe_Nail on September 12 2008 09:36 PM
It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer -- Albert Einstein
 
thespazzgirl
#59 Print Post
Posted on September 20 2008 01:43 AM
User Avatar

Member

Location: Iowa, USA
Posts: 17

Joined: 2008-09-20

Dear Mrs. L,
Thank you so much for looking past my dyscalculia and playing on my one strength: writing. Thanks for allowing me to show off my abilities to the other kids who thought I was just a retard who didn't know how to count by reading my story I wrote for your creative writing class. Thank you so very much for really giving me the chance to show what I can really do, and thank you for not taking pity on me like so many other teachers. I really value that and I'm so proud to have been your student.
 
Toe_Nail
#60 Print Post
Posted on September 28 2008 07:43 PM
User Avatar

Member

Location: No value
Posts: 915

Joined: 2006-08-13

It's been a little over two weeks now since I sent my ex-boss my letter (with no return adress) I guess that if my letter got to her, that she must have read it by now .

Maybe that she regrets, or maybe not but hopefully that my letter will help her sympathise and make her want to do a bit a of research to learn about dyscalculia and other LDs - I did a good deed and I'm glad I did however, me, personally, I don't feel any better. I don't find releif in there. It doesn't take away the pain and doesn't heal the wounds of the past. I don't know exactly what I was expecting but so be it... i think I need a theapist.
Edited by Toe_Nail on September 28 2008 07:45 PM
It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer -- Albert Einstein
 
Jump to Forum:

Similar Threads

Thread Forum Replies Last Post
Oh dear Living With Dyscalculia 10 May 22 2012 04:12 AM
Dear Math Shoutbox 15 April 23 2012 02:41 PM
Photos of my dear Rotties! Shoutbox 9 July 10 2010 12:48 AM
Dear Central A/C Shoutbox 2 April 06 2009 04:39 AM
Write Dear Abby General ideas 4 September 27 2008 09:05 PM