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The Dyscalculia Forum :: Other Dyscalculia Topics :: Dyscalculia Chat
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Feeling pretty darn dumb right now... Needed to rant a little bit...
quillian91
#1 Print Post
Posted on October 01 2007 10:26 AM
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I feel very overwhelmed.

Tomarrow is my one and a half hour math class and I am dreading it so much I have alreadys ent myself into a panic attakc earlier. I mean, Today, I was reading a story online and one of the quotes was "Would it just be wonderful if everyday you woke up and 2+2=..." It was the end of the page and I had to scroll down tot he next one, but right before I did that, I thought "Pfft! Two plus two equals three!!!"

SadSad

I know it seems stupid to be so frusterated over that, but this last week has been terriable and it seems like this is the proverbial salt in the already gaping wound.

I have to take the bus four times twice a week. Two busses to school and two busses home. I have to do one transfer each time. The other day, I had just gotten off the bus from school and was had to go hunt for the bus that would take me to my moms work. Well, I will still hold to the fact that the bus I got on was the 44. Apparently though, the 44 decided that it didnt want to go the route it has been doing for years and years and decided to go somewhere new. Angry I ended up being on a bus that would have taken me to the next city. Shock I had noticed that I didnt seem to be going in the right direction, since we always go a certain route. I thought It might be road construction and that there was a detour we had to take. Nope. Guess not.

Luckily, I recognized that it was close to where my dad lives. I pretty much broke in to use the phone to call my mom to come get me.

I recently went to see my Shrink, who i told him about my suspicions with Dyscalculia. He gave me and my mom a number to this nuerology place to get me arrangedc to be tested, or to find out where I can be tested.

I dont know. I want to get tested so badly, since I am certain I have it. And yet, I am very worried about the fact that what if I dont have it, and I am just against-my-will-lazy and unmotivated? I worry non-stop that if I dont have it, then I must just be stupid. I know that is a very pessimistic attitude, but I cant help but feel terrible about it.

My Shrink was testing me for the 1 hour session we had, just to get an idea of what grade I am at. He drew three carrots on a peice of paper and then told me to take away one. I got that. Then he said add two back. I got that too. Then he said take away one. Okay. Back to three. Then he asked me to add six.

....

Didn't get that right away. I got nervose and flustered and embarassed and I tried counting on my fingers but I was so flustered that I got mixed up and I ended up with 8. I dont know HOW I got that. It was a pretty easy problem, but still... I get so freaked otu when someone want the answer to a math related question. I usually get an answer that no one else would get.

But at least I am going to be tested. I dont know what to do. I am so worked up over math that it has triggered the depression caused by school to come back, and now I am doing terrible in English (My best subject!) and that is makeing me even more worried...

AngryAngryAngry

And on top of it, I have succesfully lost my voice due to some viirus, which got for the last week, and has quickly masculined my vocal projection until I answer the phone and my best friend of 8 years says, "Oh! Sorry sir I think I have the wrong number..."

Sorry for making a whole new topic, I just had to rant. It does feel better to get it all out though. I dont have my next Shrink appointement until two more weeks, so I am quite SOL until then. Wink
 
Kathy
#2 Print Post
Posted on October 02 2007 03:15 AM
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Location: Bribie Island Queensland Australia
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Hi quillian,

Good on you ranting and raving! Grinand well done going to get tested. I know how you feel in math, every math class I went into, I felt physically sickSad -incase I was called upon by my teacher to answer a question. What I learned to do was relaxation classes, I would take a deep breath and physically exhale very slowly, while saying the word relax.Smile it takes a little bit of practise but I am sure your shrink would help you. It may sound a bit lame, but it really does help to learn how to handle your stress. Meanwhile you know you not alone and we are all with you in support - you can tell that to your math teacher as well!

Cheers for nowWink
Albert Einstein said: "Many of the things you can count, don't count. Many of the things you can't count, really count!."
 
Toe_Nail
#3 Print Post
Posted on October 02 2007 04:49 AM
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Hey quillian Smile Don't worry, we all have our little rant and rave mood every now and then. It's okay to get this out of your system Cool

You wrote:
I dont know. I want to get tested so badly, since I am certain I have it. And yet, I am very worried about the fact that what if I dont have it, and I am just against-my-will-lazy and unmotivated? I worry non-stop that if I dont have it, then I must just be stupid. I know that is a very pessimistic attitude, but I cant help but feel terrible about it.


Don't worry about that too (well, I mean try not to worry too much) It is quite normal to feel like that prior to get tested. I felt the same way too until I realized at one point that I knew what I struggled with, I knew I had "something"... I just didn't know what. Then it occured to me that I was more scared that they would completely miss that "something", than I was scared that it would not be called dyscalculia - From the moment that I realized that, I was ready to accept any diagnostic regardles of weather it would be called dyscalculia, dyslexia, ADHD or God knows what else.

The important thing is that they find where does your difficulties stem from and provide you with accomodations and learning strategies that meet your needs.
They'll also tell you what are your strenghts and how you may use them to your advantage - Believe me, whatever the tests results will turn out to be, you will not feel stupid afterward - Remember, you are doing this for yourself. There is absolutely nothing stupid about wanting to understand what is wrong and how to improve yourself. It also takes courage to get tested. You are very brave. Smile

Good luck Smile
Edited by Toe_Nail on October 02 2007 04:53 AM
It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer -- Albert Einstein
 
ert
#4 Print Post
Posted on October 02 2007 05:39 PM
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RANT ALL YOU WANT! We do too Pfft
 
http://www.facebook.com/mettechristoffersen
leejk
#5 Print Post
Posted on October 02 2007 07:07 PM
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Location: California
Posts: 54

Joined: 2007-10-02

[quote]quillian91 wrote:


I dont know. I want to get tested so badly, since I am certain I have it. And yet, I am very worried about the fact that what if I dont have it, and I am just against-my-will-lazy and unmotivated? I worry non-stop that if I dont have it, then I must just be stupid. I know that is a very pessimistic attitude, but I cant help but feel terrible about it.

Hi Quillian,

Pleae don't be worried. I say that because I do the same thing. You are NOT lazy and NOT unmotivated. If I had a quarter for everytime someone said that to me I would be filthy rich. I have spent most of my life feeling stupid and worthless because of the attitudes of people who just dn't get that thiis is a learning disability. You are NOT stupid.

 
quillian91
#6 Print Post
Posted on October 03 2007 05:43 AM
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Thanks you guys!!!

My mom called the number that my shrink gave me, and they are settin up an appointment for me to be tested. My mom said the woman on the phone was very very nice, and she is very familiar with Dyscalculia. She was talking about a school that they have that has only about five kids in it, who suffer from dysabilities. The program is designed to raise them at least three grades in whatever they're struggling with.

I am not sure if I want to go yet. I would only be going about twice a week or so, if I ddecide I want to. Depending on my results, I would be back in either 2dn or 3rd grade math, where I would get one on on help to try to find a way that I can get at least the basics...

But I dont really know If I want to do that yet. Any thoughts from you guys? I dont know how many of you have ever done something like that...
 
Toe_Nail
#7 Print Post
Posted on October 03 2007 03:33 PM
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Hi again quillian Smile

I cannot speak out of experience here because I was diagnosed in adulthood. But I would venture to say that your mother and the psychologist that you will see, will probably discuss of those things with you. This said, you don't have to feel obligated to do something which you feel unconfortable of doing - So my advice to you is to not be affraid to ask questions and to say what you feel to your mother and the psychologist - The both of them are there to help finding the right kind of help for you but they cannot guess how you feel inside, they cannot guess what makes you feel uncertain and/or unconfortable if you don't tell them.

Smile


It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer -- Albert Einstein
 
eoffg
#8 Print Post
Posted on October 04 2007 10:17 AM
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HiPfft,
I noticed the word; 'stupid'?
Am I, aren't I ?
Where my dictionary defines it as an: 'inability to understand'.

When a teacher or anyone else doesn't understand a Student's Dyscalculia?
Who is the one that is really Stupid?
The one that doesn't understand?

The only stupidity, is not understanding that we are all Different, Unique!
Where we all bring a unique way of understanding our world!
Geoff:Pfft,
 
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